Saturday

I'm not looking forward to Saturday. Well, I am but I'm not. It can go either way. I usually need to do a lot of preparing for what's going to happen and I can't. We are going to a major event in our town which includes lots of noisy aircraft, fireworks, tons of people, and bringing my own food for the day. But that's the easy part. The unknown is that we are going to be in VIP seating with people we don't know...who also don't know us; we don't know what to expect, will there be food? are we close to any live music or speakers? is the noise level going to be higher? are the smells going to be smellier? will there be a quietish place to escape if needed? will we have enough food to keep temptation away? will it be weird to have our own food because it's catered? will there be any news people or photographers (please NO)? will anyone expect Kenzi to talk to them? Will we be able to leave early if she or any of the other kids have a melt-down? will my husband expect them to be 'socially acceptable' and try to force them to shake hands and talk to strangers? will I have to explain strange behaviors?
I honestly don't know what to expect and I don't know how to 'coach' except to possibly coach the hubby into knowing when it's time to leave...before it's already too late. It's hard when your hubby grew up with such strong 'social' expectations and also likes the privelege of sitting in VIP area. He wants the kids to understand that Daddy is giving them a 'great' experience. He mostly doesn't get that the issues our kids have (especially Kenzi) are not necessarily within their realm of control. That's when things really go south. Kids are melting down and he explodes and I just want it all to go away. Why, after nine years can't he understand at least slightly that we have to make allowances? Honestly, I'm not a pandering mom. Really. My favorite expression is "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I'm a huge fan of letting the kids learn through natural consequences. I'm also not a 'peace at any cost' person. I am a planner, though, and I feel that you should have a backup plan or two if needed. Hubby on the other hand has a one-track mind. "I paid for these tickets, the kids should enjoy it and we are going to stay until it's all over. Why can't these kids learn to enjoy it? It's all your fault, you make too many excuses for them." Ugh. It can be really lonely when you are the only responsible person. I'm often accused of not being able to be spontaneous. Spontaneous? You mean like not having food choices when we're out so the kids are forced to eat questionable foods which make them have hives, rashes, temper tantrums and unreasonable behavior , stomach aches, vomiting,and diarrhea for 3-4 days? Or maybe spontaneous as in not making sure we have ear plugs in case the sensory overload takes over and my grown up looking child covers her ears and starts crying uncontrollably? perhaps spontaneity involves not having discussed with Kensi what the options are if she suddenly feels overwhelmed and needs to escape before she totally loses it? I have certainly turned into a control freak...no doubt about it...but what choice do I have? once one of the kids has a meltdown, all the others follow and then hubby is exploding in a loud fit of his own. honestly, sometimes I just want to laugh because it's so dramatic and hysterical! If it weren't really happening to me. Instead,I have to maintain composure so I can magically calm down hubby first, then the easiest to most difficult child of that day. On the other hand...if I can manage to predict the day and be prepared for anything...this could be a very satisfying and magical moment with my family! If I can be sure that no food restrictions are overruled by Dad, that everyone has had plenty of rest, that the understimulated one has enough stimulation and the overstimulated one has a chance to recover; that I bring enough snacks so that temptations are minimized, that Dad isn't tempted to 'let them be kids', that we have a place of escape if needed, that we can move if it's too smelly, that it's not too loud, too itchy, or too crowded where we are; if Dad can refrain from trying to use his kids to make him look good, if Mom can keep from being paranoid, if the kids are dressed in exactly the right clothes for the weather- nothing too restrictive or binding or loose, THEN there will be smiles and giggles and astonishment and wonder and joy and all the things we hoped for when we decided that this might be a 'great' experience!